Don’t be ashamed…

Dear Millennial,

This letter was inspired by dwindling friendships, perfect-over-present conversations, Instagram posts, Facebook likes and the highlight reel of one’s life.

The inspiration for this letter has opened the door to suicide, mental illness, silence, drug use and negativity. Furthermore, a presumed sense of declining happiness, minimal job satisfaction, growing pessimism, and a lack of purpose & fulfillment, which has riddled the Millennial generation.

We have to ask ourselves, “are we being the change that we want to see?”

I can’t speak for you, but if I’m honest with myself, the answer is no. I could be doing more, and I’m sure you’d agree that you could be too. I make a conscious effort on a daily basis to ask myself the question, “how can I do better?”

The answer… I tell myself not to be ashamed. Not to be ashamed of….

• my insecurities
• my life being far from perfect
• the fact that ALL of my relationships need work
• that fact that I sometimes fail at being a friend, wife, bonus mom, daughter, and sister
• being short tempered at times
• improperly managing my finances from time to time
• being a little materialistic
• not knowing what I want to do with the rest of my life!

The list is endless, but I’m sure it’s relatable; I’m sure you can identify and probably add on a few things of your own. Social media, the world around us and everything in between teaches us to be ashamed if your life doesn’t resemble  the glitz and glamour of your timeline, and isn’t always smooth sailing.

I’m here to tell you that realistically, most days won’t actually look like your timeline… and if your life is typically smooth sailing, then trust me when I say you’re probably not truly living. I’m learning that I’m human. I’m learning that more often than not, the individuals who post their highlight reels for the world to see are not the example. If their highlight reels are a genuine reflection of life as they know it,  they’re the exception.

Set your own example. I can tell you, I’m learning to set mine.

You may not want to broadcast that you’re living paycheck to paycheck or that you’ve lost a job, but you don’t have to be ashamed of your circumstances either. OWN IT! If we had more transparent conversations with friends and spent less time being envious of  someone else’s life, we’d all be better off. I’m not saying that this mindset would make all the problems of the world go away, but it’s a start.

Practice makes perfect.

Exercise not being ashamed of the little things, and it becomes easier learning not to be ashamed of the bigger things. When we’re not ashamed, we begin to realize that we have more people in our corner cheering us on than we realize, and our eyes are then opened to the fact that we’re not the only ones going through something.

I’m learning that I can’t listen, watch or entertain someone else’s “glamour”… because when I do, I’m no longer the change that I want to see, which leads me to feeling ashamed or less-than when I should be embracing my process, taking notes on the lessons I’m learning along the way and figuring out how I can share them with the next person in need.

Instead, we suffer in silence from fear of ridicule, judgment, laughter, “I told you so’s”, and pain. True friends and real family have been, and always will be there to support you, so don’t be too ashamed to ask for help or too afraid to share.

You’ll thank yourself for saving someone else because you were relatable, unashamed and you decided to be an example. Don’t be ashamed…OWN IT!

Be that, live that, embrace that.

Millennial Jas